Shame & Sexuality

We live today in a society that is the “patriarchy.” Patriarchy has not only negatively affected women but also the men in this world. When patriarchy was formed, I believe one of the agendas they instilled in society was to hate our bodies and feel shame around our sexuality. They knew that by disconnecting us from our bodies, it would disconnect us from our power. So today, I want to share more on this topic of shame and sexuality and why it's important to work through our conditioning and reclaim our sexuality.

For as long as I can remember, I was told by society and the Church of Christianity that my worth was dependent on my ability to stay pure… whatever the hell that means. If you had sex before marriage, you were going to hell. Sex is only for making babies, not for pleasure. If you're a woman and you like sex, you're a whore, and nobody will want you. These are just a few things I heard growing up, and I’m sure most of you can relate to some of these statements as well.

I remember when I discovered my body and the pleasure that I could feel from it; I would hide in a closet so no one would catch me, as if I was doing something wrong. How ridiculous to hide and feel guilty about something as natural as masturbation. Anyways, those simple indoctrinated teachings that I absorbed as a young girl haunted me all the way to adulthood. It manifested in many ways such as feeling disgusting after having sex with partners, judging and hating my own body, and feeling like there was something wrong or “sinful” about being a woman. It wasn't until I got into Tantra that I really even noticed any of these unconscious issues I had around my sexuality because before, I thought these beliefs to be true.

I feel like today in society, this is a common issue amongst men and women alike. Social media, religion, and porn have all dictated to us what is “right or wrong” about our sexuality. So much so that our sexual narratives aren't ever ours anymore. They are a compiled set of programs and conditioning from the world around us.

Shame is the lowest frequency us as human beings can hold. This can be detrimental to us, as when we are in a low vibratory state, we become susceptible to negative experiences in our lives. This can also cause us to keep recreating the same narrative, thus creating a pattern that keeps us stuck in a place we don't want to be. This is why addressing our shame and our sexuality is so, so important, as it is one of the most conditioned areas of our lives. As Layla Martin, my mentor, says, the deeper the conditioning, the deeper the transformation that can take place. When we begin to liberate the shame we carry, we begin to get back vital energy that has been trapped. We also begin to feel lighter and happier as we begin to create new positive neural pathways in the brain, allowing us to shift into a more optimistic and positive world view. When these things begin to take place, we have the opportunity to become more in alignment with our purpose and higher truths. This is where our power is at, and when we are empowered, we can attract the life we truly want and deserve.

Working with my sexuality totally changed my life. Not going to lie, in the beginning, I underestimated the power of it. I felt like I was just masturbating a lot and was expecting this dramatic and flamboyant experience. What I didn't realize was that by staying consistent and moving my energy on a regular basis, not only was I creating deep change in all areas of my life but I was also creating new neural pathways in the brain and reprogramming my nervous system and subconscious mind. After 6 months, it all hit me, "WOAH." I was making more money, I actually didn't hate my body anymore, I wasn't silently judging women who were confident and beautiful, I was having the best orgasms of my life, I was manifesting left and right, and I was attracting all kinds of opportunities that I had been working years to get. This is what happens when we work through our shame and sexuality. It is a powerful accelerated path to stepping into your power and truth.

It all made sense to me after that on why there is so much negativity around sexuality… it's because they were afraid of our magnificence and our embodied sovereignty. They knew they wouldn't be able to control men or women who know exactly who they were, so they disconnected us and shamed us for being the powerful gods and goddesses we are. This is why I am in the line of work I am in. I want to help everyone reclaim what has been taken from us through manipulation and lies. There is nothing shameful about us, not a single cell in our bodies, and our sexuality is a holy gift in which we can create anything we want.

So, this post is your reminder of who you are and how to get back to yourself!

With love, Cheyenne

Soulful Tantrika